Rising Strong by Brené Brown

If you’re into self help books you’ll want to check out the latest book by qualitative researcher Brené Brown titled Rising Strong. I’d never heard of Brené Brown before I caught on her on the Today Show a few weeks ago. She was on a press junket to promote her newest book Rising Strong. I was getting ready for work and caught her talking about shame, she said:

If you put shame in a petri dish and douse it with secrecy, silence and judgement it grows exponentially. If you put shame in a petri dish and douse it with a little empathy it can’t survive.

This struck me as so profoundly because I have been thinking a lot about the way social media creates this herd mentality where we, as a group, lob judgement and ridicule onto anyone who might have a different opinion or behave in a way we don’t agree. The internet has allowed us to quickly and effectively shame someone into changing their behavior and I am not sure that is a healthy thing. Also, having grown up with an eating disorder I understand how destructive shame is and how powerful empathy can be.

I immediately purchased the audible version of Rising Strong and listened to it on my way to the office, while walking the dog or at the gym. I found I was making time to listen to this amazing book that often brought me to tears (thankfully I was in my car when that happened). Never before had I felt as if someone got me so profoundly without knowing anything about me. It was transformative.

I also purchased the hardcover book because I like to take notes in the margins and highlight passages for further reflection later. Eventually I bought the digital version too so I could easily copy and paste quotations and print them out for my office.

I preferred listening to the book because Brené Brown was the speaker. She has a wonderfully calming voice with its soft Texas accent. It felt like having coffee with a friend and I found myself looking forward to my alone time so I could hang with Brené for a bit.

In the book she talks about getting back up after a fall. That the truly brave are the ones who enter the arena and try. She talks about courage, shame, vulnerability and worthiness not like some self help guru but as a researcher.

Walking into our stories of hurt can feel dangerous. But the process of regaining our footing in the midst of struggle is where our courage is tested and our values are forged. Our stories of struggle can be big ones, like the loss of a job or the end of a relationship, or smaller ones, like a conflict with a friend or colleague. Regardless of magnitude or circumstance, the rising strong process is the same: We reckon with our emotions and get curious about what we’re feeling; we rumble with our stories until we get to a place of truth; and we live this process, every day, until it becomes a practice and creates nothing short of a revolution in our lives. Rising strong after a fall is how we cultivate wholeheartedness. It’s the process, Brown writes, that teaches us the most about who we are.

Brené Brown delivers her message through stories of her own as well as those of colleagues and friends. She tells her stories through example which everyone can relate to in one way or another. You can take as little or as much out of this book and never feel as if your being hit over the head with doctrine or dogma.

I highly recommend this book!

Brené Brown TED Talk: Listening to Shame