Learning to Love Yourself

All month long we’ve been talking about love. And what a wonderful emotion it is. In fact it’s probably the most powerful emotion there is. The bear doesn’t hate the man just because he is, the bear loves her cub and will do anything to protect it. Love is proactive while hate is reactive. All that is fine and good but as the old saying goes you can’t love someone else until you love yourself.

But just how do you go about learning to love yourself?

If you were raised in an environment of criticism and negativity it can be difficult to love oneself. We’ve all got that little voice in our heads telling us we aren’t good enough or what we think and believe doesn’t matter. It’s time to kick that tiny voice to the curb and let someone else do the talking. Learning to love yourself is about developing the confidence you need to stand up for what you want and believe in. Ideally that confidence is fostered and developed as a child but sadly for many of us it doesn’t happen.

Here are some tips to start you on your path of learning to love yourself and to develop the confidence you lack:

1. Carve out some time for yourself each day

Make time to journal, walk, read or whatever it is that you want to do but never have the time to do. By making time for an activity that is important and joyful you reinforce the idea, to yourself, that you are worthy.

2. Forgive yourself

We all make mistakes and sadly we are our own worst enemy. You wouldn’t treat a stranger as badly as you treat yourself if they mess up so stop it. Treat yourself at least as good as you would treat a co-worker, spouse or sibling. When you make a mistake tell yourself that you forgive yourself, move on and let it go.

3. Focus on the positive

This can be difficult so start out by finding one thing in someone else that is awesome and compliment them for it. Do this each day and you’ll be amazed at how good it makes you feel. You’ll notice that nasty little voice getting fainter and fainter when you do this daily.

4. Move through the negative emotions

We all feel sad sometimes, there’s just no way around it. When negative feelings strike don’t run from them or try to avoid them by using alcohol or other forms of avoidance. Move through the difficult feelings, experience them – cry and yell if you need to – and then let them go.

5. Learn something new

Reach outside of your comfort zone and try something new. You don’t have to take up skydiving but consider joining a book club or cooking class. Not only will you learn a new skill but you’ll meet other people who share the same passion as you and that’s always a great thing to do. Who knows, you might make a new friend.