Creating Happiness

As we grow older happiness can become as elusive as the characters from cherished storybooks. When we were younger happiness was easy to find. We almost stumbled on to it simply going through each day. A wonderful book, a great friend, a funny movie, baseball cards, Barbies… the list goes on of things that made us feel happy. As children, most of us didn’t have a care in the world so happiness was easier to achieve than it is for adults.

As we grow older things can still provide a bit of happiness but for the most part it is those intangibles that provide joy.

Falling in love, the laughter of a child, a knowing glance… those are the things that make most people happy. Certainly a stable job and career satisfaction play a role in happiness but it is the connections we make with others that seem to matter most.

Happiness doesn’t just happen. Intuitively we all know that but still most of us wait around for it to happen. Sadly, if we want to be happy we have to cultivate our own happiness. And really, that’s not such a bad thing is it? What follows are some ways to create happiness in your life. If you have some that aren’t listed here please feel free to share them in the comments.

1. Decide to be Happy – It sounds a little too simple but it can be that easy. Decide that you will be happy, that act alone – choosing to be happy – can go a long way to actually achieving it.

2. Be Thankful – Many of us who would like to be happier spend a lot of time thinking about the bad things in life and the things that others have that we don’t. Unhappiness can be found easily when we languish in envy and jealousy. Be grateful for what you already have, not angry or bitter because you’re lacking something. Be grateful for the wonderful friends in your life. Be grateful for caring parents and siblings. Be thankful for a loving spouse. Be thankful for your job. Take a moment each day and create a list of all the wonderful things you do have that you should be grateful for. It’s hard to be unhappy when faced with all you have.

3. Volunteer – Volunteering at the local food bank or homeless shelter is a wonderful way to connect with people you might not ever have crossed paths with and it’s a wonderful way to be reminded of what you do have. You may think you don’t have time to volunteer but you’re really doing yourself a disservice if you don’t try it at least once in your life. Give it a shot, you may find it changes your life completely for the better.

4. Accept Yourself – So what if you still have ten pounds to lose or you’re just about to break your record for a half marathon? Those are wonderful achievements but for many they are dangling carrots to self acceptance and self love. Elusive dangling carrots that keep moving with every achievement and win. Love yourself for who you are right now in this very moment. You can still go on to achieve all your goals but just be sure you love and accept who you are while trying to achieve them. You only have one life, don’t waste it hating yourself for something as silly as a dress size or the number on the scale.

5. Forgive – Forgiving yourself and others is one of the fastest way to achieve happiness. Let go of the baggage you’ve been carrying for so long. Shake it off and move on. Holding a grudge hurts no one but yourself so stop fueling anger and hatred by clinging to it. If you have a difficult time forgiving try to imagine the hurt that was caused and give it a reasonable explanation – the person wasn’t trying to hurt you, things were just out of their control and it happened (even if it isn’t true) – and then let it go once and for all. If you find yourself ruminating distract your mind with something that makes you happy so you move on.