When a Relationship Ends
We’ve all been through a breakup of one kind or another. When a relationship ends it can be difficult to get back on your feet. No matter if it’s a summer romance, a long distance relationship or a divorce after many years of marriage – a break up can be devastating and it can be a real challenge to get back up on your feet again. When a relationship ends it can seem as if your whole world has been turned upside down and that you may never fully recover. If you’re fortunate you have a great support network to help you through this difficult time. If not, hopefully you will seek the help of a professional therapist or counselor to help you through the challenges ahead.
When a relationship ends it is painful but it really is true that time heals all wounds. Okay, maybe not all of them, but time does wonders for healing the soul. While you’re waiting for some time to pass there are several things you can do to help yourself when a relationship ends.
Tips of Coping with the End of a Relationship
It’s OK to grieve
No one expects you to go on as if nothing has happened after a relationship has ended. Take some time to grieve the end of a relationship. That can mean taking a walk each day to reflect on the past or to look to the future. It can mean crying in front of the TV with a pint of Ben and Jerry’s, it can mean spending time and Mom and Dad’s for some much needed pampering. Whatever you need to do to grieve is what you should do, within reason of course. It’s not uncommon for you to be less productive at work, if you can take a day or two off that’s great, but if you can’t don’t kick yourself for being less productive during this difficult time.
Lean on Others
Call you mom or dad, call a friend, call in a few favors. It’s okay to lean on others when going through a difficult time in life. Friends and family will often not know how to help and may even avoid you because they don’t know what to say or do. Ask for help if you need it.
Emotional Roller Coaster
You may not feel all the emotions on the Kubler-Ross Model, but it’s quite likely you’ll experience some of them, and maybe even many times, so don’t be surprised if it feels like you’re stuck on an emotional roller coaster. One day you may feel like you’re over the whole thing and the next day your weeping on your way to work. You may be surprised to be incredibly angry at one moment and surprisingly accepting of things the next.
Focus on the Positive
While there will be times when you indulge in some smack talk about the relationship when you get a little distance from it it’s a good idea to try to see the positive in it. Even a failed relationship will have had many positive memories. Look for the positive and try to learn from the mistakes that led to the break up. It will get easier with time and may not even be possible in the early stages of the break up, but finding the positive in a failed relationship will help you pick up the pieces and put them back together faster than if you choose to wallow in self pity for the next three years.
Seek Professional Help
When a relationship ends it can be difficult to tell the difference between situational depression and full blown depression. If you feel like you aren’t getting better, like you feel worse and worse as time passes, then please seek the help of a professional therapist. Depression is a serious mental condition and should be treated as soon as possible. If you are in the Chicago metro area and in need of professional support you can call for an appointment at (312) 818-4998.